• White Facebook Icon
  • White Twitter Icon
  • White Google+ Icon
  • White Instagram Icon

Coercive Control involves the use of abusive behaviors to gain and maintain power and control over an intimate partner. It is a criminal offence in France, England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland for someone to subject you to Coercive Control but not, here, in America.  Although it is considered a form of Domestic Violence, offenders often go unreported and unpunished. 

 

In my case, my husband (a dentist) frightened and controlled me with his erratic behavior and crazy ramblings.  If he didn't get what he wanted, he'd flip out, smash things and threaten to kill himself, me and others.  I truly thought him to be mentally unstable and begged him to get counseling throughout our 8 1/2 year marriage. When he finally left, I thought that I could have peace again in my life. 

 

Instead, he defamed my name and hid hundreds of thousands in marital assets then insisted on joint custody of our son and went after the equity in my premarital home.  This is after he made me support him for many years, depleted my life savings and doubled my mortgage with equity loans.  He treated our son like a nuisance and a burden and denied his paternity up until our divorce proceedings began. 

 

Even though my recordings, photographs and documents proved his emotional and financial abuse, the authorities ignored me.  Due to the unethical and/or negligent family court attorneys and judges of Atlantic County New Jersey, I am in deeper debt and, still, bound to my abuser.  Worst of all, he gets to teach his extremely inappropriate, abusive and illegal behavior to our son.  

 

Visit these links for more information on Coercive Control:

 

What Is Domestic Violence?

 

What is Coercive Control?

 

Coercive Control and the Law (UK)

Read excerpts, below, then my story: 

 

TO BELIEVE ALL WOMEN IS A PREPOSTEROUS IDEA BUT HOW ABOUT BELIEVING THE PREPONDERANCE OF EVIDENCE?.

I'm first going to prove my, now, x-husband's cruel and scandalous behavior and then his enabler's.  Please excuse the vulgar language as he pretends to be a perfectly innocent Christian man and even the victim in public while exhibiting extremely inappropriate and abusive behavior in private. 

 

Below was his business card when we met.  The name "Sonrise" refers to Jesus Christ rising from the dead.  See the Christian fish symbol below the city of Sarasota, listen to Todd's radio interview then my audio recordings which confirm his 2 completely different personas and much of my story. 

WARNING

DO NOT PLAY AUDIO WHEN CHILDREN ARE PRESENT

Todd is truly a mentally ill and abusive swindler that targets compassionate and successful women.  After establishing control through fear and guilt with his childhood horror stories, crazy ramblings, erratic behavior and threats of killing himself and others as proven in my recordings, he bleeds his victims dry, emotionally and financially, then turns everything around on them with defamation, perjury and fraud inflicting even more distress.

 

Anyone that listens to my audio recordings believes that Todd is either psychotic or intentionally frightened me in order to control me.  Judge Jeffrey Light was aware, from the very beginning of our divorce proceedings, that I was genuinely concerned about Todd's behavior and that Todd lied about having zero savings or assets on his Case Information Statement as proven in the, below, recordings from our Child Custody / Pendente Lite hearing.   

Judge Light chose to ignore my very genuine concerns regarding Todd's extremely inappropriate, abnormal/abusive and illegal behavior and, instead, emotionally abused me some more by bashing me for making my step-son write sentences for lying as proven in the, below, recording and quickly awarding Todd with joint custody of our son as if his decision was prearranged.  

Judge Light went on, in our trial, ignoring Todd's extremely inappropriate, abnormal/abusive and illegal behavior plus all testimony and evidence that supported my claims, except when using it against me to lower my support, then financially abused me some more by quickly awarding Todd with half of the equity in my premarital home with no offset as if his decision was prearranged.

Judge Light referred to my recordings of Todd as being "disturbing" and "troublesome in terms of the anger that was expressed", his behavior as "unhinged in private", his testimony as "not really credible", his evidence as "confusing" because it did not support his testimony and his exotic car purchase as going against his financial distress argument but still decided in his favor on everything. 

Judge Light even went as far as falsifying facts from our trial to justify his highly biased and injuriously unfair decisions at the final judgement which is easily proven by comparing the court transcripts as I did in my grievance, among other evidence, to the Advisory Committee on Judicial Conduct in Aug 2018 but they did nothing to rectify this blatant violation of my human and civil rights. 

 

See Canon 3 Code of Conduct for United States Judges and Fair Trial Law and Legal Definition.

And since when are terroristic threats, defamation, perjury and fraud acceptable but sentence writing is not?!

Besides my pleadings at our child custody hearing and the many certification letters that I wrote to Judge Light regarding my very genuine concerns for Todd’s behavior and the way he spoke to me in private and in front of the children, I also expressed them at least 20 more times in our divorce trial (p. 11, 91, 99, 103, 105, 106, 111-115, 138 (excerpt below), 140, 141, 151-154, 173-175)

 

In my opening statements, I requested a change in "parenting time”, specifically “the overnights” because Todd “acts totally different in public than he does at home, and I’ve got evidence to, to support that” (p. 91).  After submitting exhibits of my recordings, Judge Light asked “what is this going to tend to prove?”.  I answered “It proves how he talks when he’s not in public.  And he also talks like that around the children, too, which is my main concern” (p. 103). 

 

Judge Light overruled Charles Matison's (Todd's attorney) objection to my recordings, confirmed that I “established a foundation for them that was adequate” and admitted them into evidence.  He confirmed my allegations of Todd's behavior when he stated that they "appear to be quite frankly that [Todd] can be somewhat unhinged in private" (p. 142-143)   Unhinged means:  mentally unbalanced; deranged. 

 

In the final judgement, Judge Light confirmed that the recorded conversations of Todd were “troublesome in terms of the anger that was expressed” but then he completely disregarded my testimony and erroneously stated that I “did not request really any modification of [Todd's] parenting time based upon his demeanor or anger or anything else”.  He claimed that I “just was requesting that based upon the time [our son] went to bed” and for that reason, he denied my request (p. 7-8). 

 

Is Judge Light off his rocker or is he morally corrupt?! 

 

I do not believe his blatant misrepresentation of the facts to be a mistake or an oversight, I believe that it was done intentionally and unethically as a favor to Charles Matison.  Judge Light even went on confirming that the recorded conversations of Todd were "quite disturbing" (Disturbing means: To trouble emotionally or mentally; upset. Causing anxiety; worrying) and he didn't believe Todd's explanation (p. 8) of them but still allowed him to have joint custody of our very impressionable young child.

 

So, after witnessing Todd talk and behave like a crazy man for 8 1/2 years plus emotionally and financially abusing me, neglecting and abusing his children and my dogs and doing many extremely inappropriate and illegal things, I am supposed to feel comfortable with him caring for our son and teaching him the same immoral behavior.  Judge Light's decision, which I'm sure was prearranged, is not only unethical but downright torturous to me and far from being in the best interest of a child!

Trial page 138
Final Judgement page 7-8

SOME VEHICLES THAT TODD OWNED DURING OUR MARRIAGE

Even though Todd earned over $200,000 per year in dentistry, car sales and law suits and contributed very little to our living expenses per his own certification letters, oral testimony and bank statements, he claimed to have zero savings or assets in our divorce.  All that I could think about, then, was mine and my son's safety due to Todd's crazy ramblings and erratic behavior and couldn't remember what he owned when we separated. 

 

Judge Light ignored my very genuine concerns regarding Todd's crazy ramblings and behavior and the fact that he lied on his Case Information Statement.  He ignored the fact that Todd lied about me abusing his older son as proven by the DCP&P final report, audio recordings and his ever changing story and, instead, used these same false allegations to emotionally abuse me again and again in our child custody / pendente lite hearing, trial and motion for reconsideration. 

 

This is even after Judge Light, himself, informed me that these allegations were not part of our trial (p. 151-152) so there was no need for me to defend myself!  

 

I tried to show him the DCP&P final report (which he already had in his possession according to this voice message) but he refused to look at it (p. 82-85) just as he did the photographs of over 30 vehicles that Todd owned during our marriage (p. 143-144).  I did prove that Todd was lying in his interrogatories and in trial (p. 175) about selling one vehicle to buy another one with photographs of 9 vehicles parked together at my premarital home (p. 134-138)

 

Judge Light ignored all of this and contrarily stated in the final judgement (p. 9) that “there is no proof that the money was spent in some particular way”.  This is after Todd, himself, even admitted to using our marital money to buy and sell vehicles with no good excuse as to where the profits went (p. 176-186)!  He said that he spent it on pizza and Chinese take-out food once or twice a week (p. 175-176). 

 

Who in their right mind would believe that costed over a hundred thousand dollars per year?  Only a coconspirator, I'd say! 

 

On his 10/25/2015 Case Information Statement, Todd claimed our joint lifestyle family  monthly expenses to be $8,544 which comes to $102,528 per year.  He admitted in trial to only contributing $6,000 - 7,000 per month which, at the most, comes to $84,000 per year.  His 2015 income was $233,741 not counting profits from car flipping (p. 187) and what he had deducted for retirement, according to his Federal Tax Returns, so where did $149,741 go in that year alone?

 

Although Todd's contribution figures of $6,000 - 7,000 per month were still overinflated proven by bank check copies and account details, this was only true for the last 2 years of our marriage as he contributed nothing at all to my mortgage and basically lived rent and care free for the first 6 1/2 years due to his demanding behavior and manufactured financial distress. 

 

This is confirmed by Todd, himself, when he said that “I have paid the monthly home equity line during the last two years of marriage” in his Certification Letter dated January 6, 2016!   

 

At least half of what Todd did contribute went towards payments on 3 cars that he insisted on having plus insurance and etc. besides the proven fact that he was constantly withdrawing cash back out of our bill paying account and hiding it away. ALL of my earnings and assets, both marital and pre-marital, went to pay for our living expenses and the remodeling of my pre-marital home besides the proven fact that I did 95% of the labor by myself. 

 

I also paid all expenses for our son and many of Todd's personal expenses which means that there was over $100,000 per year of marital money disappearing! 

 

I tried to prove this to Judge Light with a chart (p. 123-128 &182-186) using Todd's numbers and our combined income but he refused to admit it into evidence even though I had official documents to back it up.  Judge Light did say that he accepted my argument (p. 148-150) that “given income, less taxes over expenses, there should be assets” and that he can do his own analysis. 

 

It doesn't take a rocket scientist, like my cousin, to figure out that Judge Light had no intention of doing so!  

 

The only vehicle that Todd did claim in our trial and offset mine was a cheap truck that he purchased after we separated, proven by his insurance card, but Judge Light chose to ignore all testimony and evidence that supported my claims then financially abused me some more by ordering me to pay Todd half of the equity in my premarital home without any consideration, whatsoever, of his hidden/dissipated savings and assets

Judge Light also ignored the fact that Todd and his attorney, Charles Matison, used falsified documents to misrepresent income!  

 

On his 10/25/15 Case Information Statement, Todd claimed that he no longer received bonuses and would only earn $180,000 that year while his paystub exhibit from Allied Dental averaged $208,000 (his base salary without bonuses according to his 2013, 2014 & 2018 employment contracts) but he really earned $233,741, not counting profits from car flipping (p. 187) and what he had deducted for retirement, according to his Federal Tax Returns. 

 

Todd also marked "no" to receiving any other means of compensation on his Case Information Statement so where did the extra $53,741 come from in only 2 months? 

 

I believe that Todd used another falsified pay stub in our trial and, again, lied when he claimed that he no longer received bonuses but bragged that his mistress/co-worker did.  He claimed that he would earn far less money than the previous year but bragged that she would earn at least $91,000 working as his dental hygienist while attempting to impute an income to me. 

 

That is twice as much money as I have ever earned while working 2-3 jobs! 

 

Todd claimed that he would earn $202,000 - 210,000 (p. 39) that year while his paystub exhibit only averaged $187,000.  This $202,000 - 210,000 estimation (again, his base salary without bonuses according to his 2013, 2014 & 2018 employment contracts) was for Allied Dental, alone, and did not even include his Air National Guard compensation, profits from car flipping (p. 187) or what he had deducted for retirement. 

 

Todd went on to claim that he lost weight during our divorce proceedings due to financial distress but was sending me text messages (yes, I saved them!) at the same time bragging about his great workouts and being in the best shape of his life.  He claimed that the $1,000 deduction (p. 40-41 & 81-82) from his paycheck, per pay period, was for repayment of a $25,000 loan from his employer that he was forced to obtain in order to pay his legal fees but very oddly had money “left over” (p. 82) at the same time to buy another exotic car. 

 

Even though Judge Light questioned this loan, the car purchase (p. 186-188) and his testimony regarding income as it was inconsistent with his pay stub (Final Judgement p. 11), he still decided in Todd’s favor then went even further to round down his income and use my "very modest lifestyle" testimony (p. 149-150) to decrease alimony and hurt me and our son some more. 

 

Very oddly again or I should say, very one-sidedly, Judge Light did not apply this same "very modest lifestyle" testimony (Final Judgement p. 14) to equitable distribution and instead said that all of our money was spent and financially abused me some more by ordering me to pay Todd half of the equity in my premarital home with no offset. 

 

Most oddly of all, Todd has since received a $25,000 bonus from his employer (see below) in addition to many other bonuses!  A Retention Bonus that only retains for 7 months and in the same exact amount of the loan that was being deducted from his paycheck at the time of our divorce?  What a farce!  Please correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this perjury and fraud?

 

How does Todd, his employer or whoever falsified documents for him, Charles Matison and Judge Light continue to get away with this?!

 

I am a very compassionate person but I'm sorry to say that Todd is a real dirt bag... and so are his enablers!  Judge Light's decisions were not only extremely biased and unfair but highly injurious to me.  The fact that he sided with Todd on almost everything even after questioning his behavior and credibility many times during our divorce proceedings would almost be laughable if it wasn't so reprehensible! 

In my Motion to Reopen, I proved that Todd lied about almost everything in our divorce but I specifically brought attention to his hidden bank accounts and the 4-5 cars totaling over $140,000 proven with, below, car photos (Lotus Evora, Dodge Challenger, Jeep Wrangler) taken at my home prior to our separation then Todd's home after our separation, plus many other photos and documents (Renault Racecar, Cobra Replica Kit car) which is most certainly perjury and fraud and grounds (RULE 4:50-1) for re-opening a divorce.  I, again, requested a change in child custody and equitable distribution. 

 

At the Oct 27, 2017 hearing, Judge Ridgway refused to listen to my recordings or alter Judge Light’s decision regarding child custody and although she recommended that I seek counseling for what Todd did to me, she set him free without consequence to continue using and abusing others.  Does this sound contradictory to you?  Judge Ridgway did state that she would go back through the divorce proceeding to see if “all of Plaintiff’s vehicles were addressed” and ordered a signed “release to GTE financial, for all accounts”.

Besides the many times in our trial that Todd's attorney, Charles Matison, intentionally  misrepresented our finances, he then attempted to trick Judge Ridgway into believing that all of our marital vehicles from 2015 were already addressed with my Exhibit D-3 of 9 old vehicles from 2013 which I used in our trial (p. 134-138) to prove that Todd was lying about selling one car to buy another one and Todd's own testimony (p. 159-167) where he inadvertently admitted to dissipating our assets in his Oct 31, 2017 letter.

 

Even though Judge Light clearly stated in the final judgement (page 8) that “there was really no testimony on what [Todd] owns” and the equity in my premarital home was obviously (page 9) the only asset considered in equitable distribution, I have heard absolutely nothing from the family court.  The 4-5 vehicles, alone, totaling over $140,000 most certainly offset and far exceed the $70,000 equity in my premarital home which shouldn't have even been considered as equitable distribution in the first place!

I proved that Todd dissipated the Jeep, Dodge and Renault before filing for divorce.  He, then, bought a cheap Dodge Ram truck (on loan) which he omitted on his Case Information Statement along with the Lotus and Cobra and only claimed my Ford Explorer (on loan) and my premarital house as marital assets.  Todd lied about contributing to my premarital house and instead of my mortgage balance decreasing, it increased another $85,000 due to his insatiable demands.  He also bought another exotic car (paid in full) during our divorce, in addition to others, even though he claimed financial distress.

 

Charles Matison also intentionally used old bank account numbers from 2009 to trick Judge Ridgway with in another one of his letters dated Oct 31, 2017 and I still have not received statements for "all" of Todd's hidden accounts from GTE bank.  Even though Todd and Charles Matison continued to misrepresent marital assets and savings with old vehicles and bank account numbers in their letters which I pointed out to Judge Ridgway and is most certainly more perjury and fraud, she has done absolutely nothing about it. 

Besides refusing to address Todd's abnormal and/or abusive behavior, Judge Ridgway is apparently refusing to make a decision regarding his and Charles Matison's perjury and fraud as she has held my case in Abeyance since Oct 27, 2017.  On Aug. 14, 2018, I filed a grievance with the Advisory Committee on Judicial Conduct due to Judge Light's extremely biased and injurious decisions, among other misconduct, and Judge Ridgway's lack of decisions which is most certainly unethical but they, also, have done nothing. 

 

How is any of this being fair, impartial, diligent or in the best interest of a child?  See Canon 3 Code of Conduct for United States Judges.  It just so happens that Judge Light, Judge Ridgway and Charles Matison have neighboring law offices.  I was informed by an attorney friend that they "hometowned" me.   Apparently, you are allowed to abuse someone and not only get away with it in Atlantic County New Jersey but get rewarded for it if you know the right people!

HELP STOP ABUSERS

AND THEIR ENABLERS

 

PLEASE 

Sign my petition to Stop Coercive Control 

Contact the ACJC and urge them to investigate Judge Light and Ridgway

Donate to help me continue fighting this legal battle

TO BELIEVE ALL WOMEN IS A PREPOSTEROUS IDEA BUT HOW ABOUT BELIEVING THE PREPONDERANCE OF EVIDENCE?

This is a true story about divorce attorneys who are aiding and abetting a mentally ill and abusive man in his pursuit for money and control. They are being assisted by family court judges who are intentionally and unethically ignoring the victim's consistent, credible and supported testimony while making extremely biased decisions, or no decisions at all, in favor of the abuser based upon his inconsistent, incredulous and unsupported testimony.  I really don’t know where to start with my story, the beginning or the end, but I do know that wrongdoings like this have occurred in the courtroom many times before and will continue to occur until something is done to stop the mentally ill abusers and their enablers. Instead of easing the mind of a clearly oppressed woman by correctly addressing her husband’s coercive and controlling behavior, doing what was in the best interest of their impressionable young child and fairly dividing marital assets, these attorneys and judges worked together in covering up the truth and, not only allowing but, inflicting more financial and emotional abuse. 

 

As I go back through the family court documents, certification letters, child custody/ pendente lite hearing, matrimonial early settlement panel, private mediations, discovery, interrogatories, divorce trial, final judgement, motion for reconsideration and motion to reopen, the amount of perjury and unfair decisions just boggles my mind but I will prove, beyond a doubt, how I was taken advantage of while under extreme duress by my now x-husband, Todd, his attorney, Charles Matison, and Charles Matison's friends, Judge Light, Judge Ridgway, Charles Gabage esq and Kevin Murphy esq with their conniving and very hurtful behavior.  Before I go on with my story, I will prove how Judge Light intentionally ignored my testimony and evidence regarding child custody and even falsified the facts from our trial to justify his extremely biased and injurious decisions at the final judgement. This is just my first example as I have many others.

 

In my opening statements of our divorce trial, I stated that I wanted to “change the parenting time”, specifically “the overnights” because, my then husband, Todd “acts totally different in public than he does at home, and I’ve got evidence to, to support that”(p. 91). Back then, I was afraid to say much about Todd’s behavior since he threatened me throughout our 8 ½ year marriage and into the divorce proceedings. I felt that my recordings of him would speak for themselves as Todd, himself, described his own childhood abuse and how it negatively changed him “forever”. He also admitted in The Real Me to having two personas, “this Jesus person” and “Satan’s right-hand man” and stated repeatedly in Slit Throat part 1 that he will “kill, murder, execute,” etc. “anyone who fucks” with him. He went on describing exactly how he wants to kill someone when he “finally” gets the chance and said to me, directly in Slit Throat part 2, that “you’re going to die like a dick in the dirt”. 

 

I submitted exhibits of my recordings of Todd, at our trial, and Judge Light asked, “what is this going to tend to prove?”. I answered, “It proves how he talks when he’s not in public. And he also talks like that around the children, too, which is my main concern” (p. 103).  Besides my pleadings at our child custody hearing and the many certification letters that I wrote to Judge Light regarding my concerns for Todd’s behavior and the way he spoke to me in private and in front of the children, I also expressed them at least 20 more times in our trial (p. 11, 91, 99, 103, 105, 106, 111-115, 138, 140, 141, 151-154, 173-175) Judge Light overruled Charles Matison’s objection to my recordings of Todd, affirmed that I “established a foundation for them that was adequate” and admitted them into evidence (p. 142).  He confirmed my allegations of Todd's behavior when he stated that they "appear to be quite frankly that [Todd] can be somewhat unhinged in private" (p. 142-143)   Unhinged means:  mentally unbalanced; deranged.   

 

In the final judgement, Judge Light confirmed that the recorded conversations of Todd were “troublesome in terms of the anger that was expressed” but then he completely disregarded my testimony and erroneously stated that I “did not request really any modification of [Todd’s] parenting time based upon his demeanor or anger or anything else”.  He claimed that I “just was requesting that based upon the time [our son] went to bed” and for that reason, he denied my request (p. 7-8).  Judge Light went on confirming that the recorded conversations of Todd were “quite disturbing”.  Disturbing means: 1. To trouble emotionally or mentally; upset. 2. Causing anxiety; worrying.  He even stated that he was “not accepting [Todd's] explanation of it” … “it was far beyond that and not really credible” but, steadfastly, refused to address his crazy ramblings, terroristic threats or change child custody and/or parenting time in all of my pleadings i.e. Certification Letters, Child Custody, Divorce Trial, Objection Letter and Motion for Reconsideration. 

 

Is Judge Light off his rocker or is he morally corrupt?!  I do not believe his blatant misrepresentation of the facts and harrowing decision to be a mistake or an oversight, I believe that it was done intentionally and unethically as a favor to Charles Matison.  During the trial, there was much eye contact between Judge Light and Charles Matison, especially after I pointed out Charles Matison's lies (p. 136), and then Judge Light constantly twitched at the final judgement.  I’m sure that these things will show up in the courtroom videos. Does Judge Light have a neurological problem or was the twitching due to a guilty conscience because he knew that what he was doing was wrong? 

 

I thought it was very odd that when I arrived 10 minutes early for our 9:00 a.m. trial on Oct 18, 2016, I found a completely empty courtroom and waiting area.  After looking around for 30 minutes, I found a woman sitting at a desk and asked her about the delay.  She said that Todd and Charles Matison were having a meeting in one of the conference rooms.  Who in the heck waits until the day and time of their trial to discuss strategy and why the preferential treatment?!  I waited another 45 minutes until they and Judge Light, finally, appeared and quickly entered the courtroom.  How much do you want to bet that Judge Light was part of that meeting which delayed our trial from starting for 1 hour, 5 minutes and 5 seconds?

A little about me and our son...

I am in no way a prima donna as Todd tried to convey in our divorce. Coming from a family of 12 siblings, we were taught to work very hard and survive on very little. I worked my butt off and saved money for 25 years, in Florida, so I could move back to my hometown, in New Jersey, and live debt free. Besides working 2 jobs as a dental assistant and hygienist, I also did house cleaning, painting, ceramic and vinyl tile, carpet cleaning and tree trimming on the side. After purchasing 2 acres of land for $45,000 in 2003, my NJ home was built for $130,000 in 2005 with a huge chunk of my savings and an equity loan from my FL home purchased in 1989. I also owned 2 very nice vehicles, a Mustang GT and a Durango SLT, that were both purchased brand new and paid off early.

 

Additionally, I had 2 sets of dog agility equipment and a 30 ft. RV trailer that I was going to use for my dog training business and competitions. Besides the equity in my homes and assets, I had $35,000+ in IRAs, checking and savings accounts with an excellent credit score and no other debts. I was living stress free and having a blast traveling around competing with my dogs while preparing to move back to NJ, permanently, and then I met Todd.  He won me over by pretending to be the perfect Christian man but changed, immediately, after marriage as he flipped out due to being defrauded in the purchase of his dental business. I believe that this was just a scam as Todd claimed financial distress but never stopped purchasing everything he wanted while I went without, worked for him for free and paid many of his bills. 

 

In addition to depleting my premarital life savings, assets and using the equity in my premarital homes (Before marriage in 2007, I only owed $80,000 on my home. At separation in 2015, I owed $165,000), Todd hid and dissipated our marital savings and vehicles then lied about his contributions to living and remodeling expenses in our  divorce causing me to owe him $35,000 (half of my premarital home equity) with no offset. He’s also trying to get me to pay him for other assets that he left behind. These are same assets that Todd hid and severely underestimated in his Dec 2008 Chapter 13 then made me, at 8+ months pregnant, pay to move from his FL home to my NJ home, by myself, in Feb 2009.  This is all proven in photos and documents.

Most distressing of all, Todd is already teaching our son, Jonas, to speak of hurting and killing people, to abuse animals and to lie.  Jonas was diagnosed with ADHD in 2017 after an evaluation with the Child Study Team at school and a neurologist. I do not believe that his attention problem is due to a chemical imbalance as he is exceedingly capable of focusing on his own interests. Jonas is actually very intelligent, creative and articulate. In fact, the psychologist who tested his verbal reasoning abilities said that he scored higher than any child she has tested before. Todd, who constantly boasts about his 184 IQ, claims that Jonas gets his gifted abilities from him but that is not necessarily true. 

 

I have many engineers and doctors in my family, some that are very famous.  My mother’s great4x grandfather, Dr Nathan Smith, was one of New England’s most respected physicians. Smith was well ahead of his time in practices and procedures. He was not only a skilled practitioner, but also a surgeon, teacher and writer. He was the first to perform a surgery that saved the leg/life of Mormon prophet, Joseph Smith, then went on to single-handily found the Dartmouth Medical School, where, for a time, he was the entire faculty. In addition, Smith co-founded the University of Vermont College of Medicine, the medical school at Bowdoin College and the Yale School of Medicine. He became the first professor of physics, surgery, and obstetrics while working at Yale.

 

I also have many ministers in my family who have started their own churches, schools and wrote numerous hymns, one that was even included on Billy Graham’s favorite collections album.  I’m not claiming that my family is perfect as I also have infamous relatives like my father’s cousin, Joseph Gallo, also known as "Crazy Joe" and "Joe the Blond". He was a New York City gangster for the Profaci crime family, later known as the Colombo crime family. Joe initiated one of the bloodiest mob conflicts since the Castellammarese War of 1930–1931 and was murdered as a result. Although very intelligent, creative and articulate, Joe was, intentionally and detrimentally, taught this immoral behavior by his father. He was not really “crazy” and just behaved that way to avoid criminal charges.

 

Back to my story...

Like I said, I went without while Todd, selfishly and continuously, got everything he wanted since the very beginning of our marriage. Whenever I didn't do exactly what he wanted, he would flip out, smash things and threaten to kill himself, me and others.  Todd treated our son like a nuisance and a burden, while we were married, and even denied his paternity (proven in Todd's YMCA interview and MATCH internet dating profile) up until our divorce proceedings began.  His treatment of Jonas (before and after birth) hurt me more than anything else, not to mention my two miscarriages which I think were due to stress from Todd's behavior and threats. He was never there to support me or Jonas, emotionally or financially.  In fact, Todd did the exact opposite as he pretends.  He used and abused me, neglected and degraded his children and is now being rewarded by the legal system. 

 

Todd always referred to all authority figures as “stupid/corrupt” and, so far, it is proven to be true. Todd does exactly what his parents taught him. He told me many times that his father (a defense attorney nicknamed Eminem at the courthouse due to his foul language) advised him, in regard to women, to “feel them, fuck them and forget them”. Todd learned this skill very well and, constantly, refers to women as “stupid bitches” and “dumb whores”. You’ll hear him speaking this way in many of my recordings. His mother was verbally and physically abusive. I witnessed her horrifying behavior, many times, and was also a victim to it like Todd’s other women. He talks about his mother in the Ugly Person recording and refers to his own childhood as “growing up in hell”. Todd was not shown love or affection as an impressionable young child but was constantly criticized and controlled by fear and guilt. This is exactly how he treated me.

 

It is very sad that Todd is incapable of loving or caring about anyone, let alone himself, due to the neglect and abuse that he suffered in his young life. I believe that Todd buys and boasts because he lacks security and confidence in himself. I really tried to help him and begged him to go to counseling. It is truly a shame that he was raised that way and I still feel very sorry for him but I have to try to stop him and the attorneys and judges from hurting others. Although I have blocked much of what Todd did to me out of my mind and was initially afraid to say anything, my story does not change like his. I am still frightened of what he and, now, his enablers/assailants may do to me but I refuse to live in fear for the rest of my life and let Todd and his family corrupt our son.

Judge Light also blatantly ignored my testimony (p. 134-138) regarding the 30+ vehicles that Todd owned during our 8 ½ year marriage. That’s one vehicle purchased every 2-3 months. Todd even purchased a vehicle 3 days after filing Chapter 13 in December 2008 and instead of helping me, at 8+ months pregnant, pack and move his belongings from his home to my mine, he made me drive 1,400 miles with 4 dogs and do everything, by myself, while he took a leisure drive to Indiana to purchase another vehicle. At this same time, Todd made zero contributions to his NJ dental license or moving expenses. He attended no doctor appointments for our son nor paid one single cent. At delivery, Todd left us in the hospital for a week and kept telling me, over and over, that our son was going to die while he sat up all night, looking at cars and naked old ladies on the internet. This is all proven in the Ugly Person recording, web history, photos and financial documents.

 

Todd also sold, hid and misrepresented vehicles and other assets back then and he continued purchasing them prior to discharge without the trustee’s approval. He even took a loan out against our retirement account to purchase a car while making me pay the house and remodeling expenses.  I showed Judge Light photographs of Todd’s cars but couldn’t remember which ones he still owned when we separated. Todd was threatening me so much then that all I could think about was mine and our son’s safety.  Even Todd, himself, admitted in trial to using our marital money to buy and sell cars (p. 159-167) with no good excuse as to where the profits went (p. 176-186). This is the same testimony that Matison will, later, mislead Judge Ridgway with in his Oct 31, 2017 letter. The only vehicle that Todd did claim in our trial was purchased on Aug 30, 2015, after we separated, which was proven by his insurance card.  He even put this vehicle on my policy and made me pay the bill for the first 5 months. 

 

Judge Light blatantly ignored all of this and contrarily stated in the Final Judgement (p. 9) that “there is no proof that the money was spent in some particular way”.  He rounded down Todd’s misrepresented income then used my “very modest lifestyle” testimony to lower my support even further and hurt me and our son some more (p. 14). Todd also admitted, throughout our divorce proceedings and trial, to us having very modest living expenses in comparison to our income which equated to hundreds of thousands in missing marital money/assets. It’s funny how Judge Light only applied these very modest lifestyle testimonies to alimony and not equitable distribution. Actually, it wasn’t funny at all but extremely one-sided, unethical and injurious as he ordered me to pay Todd half of the equity in my premarital home with no offset.

 

In the summer of 2017, I filed a Motion to Reopen my divorce case under Judge Nancy Ridgway. I proved that Todd dissipated, hid and misrepresented our marital assets. I proved that he misrepresented his contributions to our living expenses and improvements of my premarital home. I proved that he had hidden bank accounts. I proved that he even went as far as using falsified documents when misrepresenting his income in his Case Information Statement and, I believe, in our trial. Even though Todd earned hundreds of thousands of dollars per year in income, law suits and car sales which he selfishly kept for himself, he claimed to have zero savings or assets in our divorce. He even selfishly spent/hid his older son’s education fund and our retirement money. This is after I worked for Todd (a dentist) for almost 2 years, mostly uncompensated, as his hygienist, assistant, secretary, laborer, babysitter, cook and gopher. He, then, lived off of me for many years and depleted my premarital life savings.

 

It was not my choice to support Todd but what he forced me to do with his crazy ramblings and erratic behavior. He claimed financial distress immediately after we wed then filed bankruptcy 1 ½ years later. This did not stop him from selfishly spending as he continued to buy cars and use my credit cards while I went without. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere, do anything or even talk to my friends and family without Todd going nuts. I believe that Todd also took advantage of his previous wife (a dentist too) and mother of his older son, Josh, as his Social Security statement shows zero income in their only full year of marriage. He always blamed her but I know different now. Todd turns everything around and pretends to be the victim while in search of his next sugar momma.  He also teaches his extremely inappropriate, immoral and even illegal behavior to his children. 

 

Josh always had learning and behavior problems but instead of getting him professional help, Todd called him horrible names (Behavior Problems recording) behind his back.  This was a huge issue between us as I felt that Todd gave Josh everything he wanted but neglected his needs.  Although Josh often received zeros for incomplete schoolwork and low or failing test grades, he somehow managed to obtain middle to high averages.  He was also late and missed many days of school but, somehow, had no absences or tardys on his final report card.  I have proof of this.  Like Todd's car flipping business where he makes $5,000 - 10,000 (p. 187) per sale, Josh has a shoe flipping business where he makes $500 per sale.  Todd bragged about this in our trial.  He said that Josh purchased shoes for $300 then sold them to his teachers at Buena Regional High School for $800 (p. 36-37).  Todd stated that he had teachers in and out of his house all of the time.  Was this to make shoe purchases or to get paid off for doctoring grades and absences on Josh's report card? 

In my Motion to Reopen, I proved that Todd lied about almost everything in our divorce but I specifically brought attention to his hidden bank accounts and the 4-5 cars totaling over $140,000 that he still owned when we separated. I, again, requested a change in child custody and equitable distribution. At the Oct 27, 2017 hearing, Judge Ridgway refused to listen to my recordings or alter Judge Light’s decision regarding child custody and although she recommended that I seek counseling for what Todd did to me, she set him free without consequence to continue using and abusing others. Does this sound contradictory to you? Judge Ridgway did state that she would go back through the divorce proceeding to see if “all of Plaintiff’s vehicles were addressed” and ordered a signed “release to GTE financial, for all accounts”.

 

Even though Judge Light clearly stated in the Final Judgement (page 8) that “there was really no testimony on what [Todd] owns” and the $70,000 equity in my premarital home was obviously (page 9) the only asset considered, I have heard absolutely nothing from the family court. There were a few more letters sent to Judge Ridgway with me pleading for help and Charles Matison continuing to commit perjury and misrepresent marital assets for his client. This is so obvious yet nothing is done about it!  If you refer to Charles Matison’s letter dated October 31, 2017, you will see that he’s trying to trick Judge Ridgway into believing that all of our marital vehicles were correctly addressed with Trial Exhibit D-3. This series of photographs from 2013 were not used by me (p. 135-138) to prove what vehicles Todd owned at the time of our separation in 2015 as he owned all new ones by then, but that he was lying about selling one vehicle to purchase another like he claimed in his certification letters and again in trial (p. 175).

 

If Judge Ridgway is accepting Charles Matison’s word over mine without checking the facts then she is playing favoritism too. My recordings prove Todd’s crazy ramblings and terroristic threats but they are blatantly and constantly ignored by the judges. Whether he is mentally ill or just acted that way to frighten and control me, it’s not right that I should have to worry about mine and our son’s safety for the rest of our lives. Todd hid/dissipated our marital money and assets then greedily went after the equity in my premarital home so, now, I have to pay him $35,000 for letting him live in my house and abuse me all of those years. This, financial and emotional, abuse has been ongoing as Judge Light’s decisions and Judge Ridgway’s lack of decisions are not only extremely unfair and biased but, I believe, criminal in nature.

Todd stated in our divorce trial, “as God is my witness, I have no other bank accounts” (p. 167) but, in my Motion to Reopen, I proved that was a lie. I also proved that the Sun National Bank statements that he did disclose were missing many direct deposits and check copies. If you listen to my Hiding Money & Telling Lies recording, you’ll hear Todd elude to hiding money in the first 40 seconds of our conversation when I was accusing him of blowing through a $1,000 per month. I really meant to say per week. His reply was “I can do whatever the fuck I want, no one is blowing dick, you don’t know what the fuck is going on, you have no clue and what are you going to do because you don’t know nothing”. Todd also lied about paying our living expenses. He always had his own secret bank accounts and contributed very little in comparison to his income.

 

Todd moved into my premarital home in March 2009 after filing Chapter 13. He did not contribute anything at all to my mortgage until mid-2013. He even admitted to this in one of his Certification Letters dated January 6, 2016 when he said “I have paid the monthly home equity line during the last two years of marriage.” So, in actuality, Todd made me work for him, uncompensated, in addition to paying over $80,000 worth of his and his older son’s expenses, in the first 2 years of our marriage at his house, plus all of my own and our son’s expenses then he made me pay for his NJ dental license and moving expenses to my house. All, proven with financial documents! He contributed nothing for the first 6 months then lived rent and care free for the next 4 years. They moved out in Aug 2015 shortly after his older son vandalized my vehicle. Todd’s older son had his same demanding behavior where he would either burst into tears and threaten suicide or get extremely angry and break things whenever he didn’t get what he wanted.

I proved that whenever Todd deposited a check into our joint account which was used to pay our bills that he also withdrew cash at the same time so even his bank check amounts are misrepresented. The money that he actually did contribute also went to pay for 3 vehicles that he insisted on buying and their insurance. Even if you use Todd’s numbers like I did with a chart in our trial, they still prove missing marital money. Judge Light said that he accepted my argument (p. 149-150) that “given income, less taxes over expenses, there should be assets” but rejected my chart as evidence. He said that he can do his “own analysis” but he did not.

 

In my motion to reopen, I added Todd’s visible income from his bank statements, subtracted his trumped-up contributions from his check copies and still came up with an excess marital income of almost $150,000 just in the last 19 months of marriage. This is in addition to the 4-5 hidden marital cars totaling over $140,000. At the October 27, 2017 hearing, Judge Ridgway ordered Todd, without any penalty, to sign an authorization form to release statements of his hidden bank accounts to me and the family court. Although Matison tried to trick us again in another one of his letters dated October 31, 2017 by using false account numbers, I still have not received a signed authorization form from Todd “for all accounts from September 2015 to November 2015”.

I also proved that Todd lied about paying for the remodeling of my premarital home as he only contributed about $15,000 which is nothing compared to what he made me pay towards his expenses. He insisted on finishing off my upstairs and promised to pay for it because his older son had moved in with us. Todd contracted it out but only paid about 1/3 of the cost. My parents paid 1/3 and I paid and worked off the other 1/3 by doing house painting and insulation for the building contractor. Before I sell my house, I will have to demolish and rebuild the upstairs because Todd had it done without a permit which I was unaware of until completion. He didn’t care because it wasn’t his house and he never planned on staying.

 

In late 2012, Todd insisted on a 2 story, 3 car attached garage for his prized possessions. He sought out same crooked contractor that did the upstairs. This guy poured 5” footings instead of 12” and laid concrete block on the wrong side of the line. In Jan 2013, I was forced to obtain a $50,000 loan from Newfield Bank to demolish and rebuild the garage. I also opened our only joint bank account at that time and reduced my dental hygiene schedule in order to start my dog training business that I postponed for 6 years due to helping Todd instead. By this time, I was fed up with being constantly contradicted, criticized and treated like a slave by him. This is also when Todd became extremely abusive to me. He was furious because I refused to support him or do everything that he wanted any longer. Due to Todd’s frightening behavior, crazy ramblings and terroristic threats, I had a will draw up in March 2014.

I also proved in my Motion to Reopen that Todd used a falsified pay stub and lied about not receiving any other means of compensation in his 10/25/2015 Case Information Statement when he claimed an annual income of $180,000 but really earned $233,741. Where did the extra $53,741 come from in only 2 months? I believe that Todd lied again in our trial and used another falsified pay stub. On that day, he submitted a pay stub that averaged $187,000 but testified that he would earn between $202,000 and $208,000 to $210,000 (p. 39). This was only his base pay ($800 per day X 5 days = $4,000 X 52 weeks = $208,000 + some Saturdays) with Allied Dental according to his employment contract and what he has informed me of over the years. It did not include his bonus compensation (32% of Gross Receipts) or his Air National Guard pay and their bonus compensation.

 

Todd went on denying, in our trial (p. 42), that he received bonuses but bragged that his co-worker/mistress did (p. 44). He claimed that he would earn far less money than the previous year but bragged that she would earn at least $91,000 working as his dental hygienist while attempting to impute an income to me. That is twice as much money as I have ever earned while working a full-time and part-time job! By the way, that was another lie of Todd’s when he said that I only ever worked 2 half days per week (p. 52). He also lied about losing weight due to financial distress during our divorce proceedings because he was sending me text messages, during that same time, bragging about his great workouts and being in the best shape of his life. How can someone be so bold as to tell so many lies in court? Because that someone knew that he would get away with it, that’s how!

Todd even claimed that he was forced to obtain a loan from his employer to pay his legal fees but had money “left over” to buy another new car, at the same time (p. 81-82). Even though Judge Light questioned this purchase (p. 186-188) and Todd’s testimony regarding his income as it was inconsistent with his pay stub (final judgement p. 11), he still decided in Todd’s favor then went even further to round down his income when calculating my support. Like I said before, Judge Light was not done hurting me and our son as he went on to use my “very modest lifestyle” testimony (p. 14) to take away the private school that my son was supposed to attend, our vacations, his summer camps, restaurants and clothing.

 

I attempted to submit a chart of our marital income minus living expenses in as evidence proving that there was over $266,940 missing just in the last 4 years of our marriage. I used Todd’s numbers and didn’t even include the huge lawsuits that he won or profits from his car sales. Judge Light said that he accepted my argument that “given income, less taxes over expenses, there should be assets” but rejected my chart as evidence. He said that he can do his own analysis but he had no intention of doing so. Todd used and abused me. He wasted and misused our marital money with no regard to me or his children then Judge Light, intentionally, ignored my testimony and caused me more financial and emotional distress by ordering me to pay Todd half of the equity in my premarital home with no offset.

I’m including Todd’s 2018 employment contract (and 2014 for comparison) with Allied Dental which is loaded with even more bonus opportunities than previous years. Why continue to negotiate bonuses if you’re not receiving them? Sound fishy to you? Well, I think anyone with a half of a brain would agree or maybe someone that wasn’t morally corrupt! Todd also receives annual bonuses from the Air National Guard. He was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel in 2017 which included a pay increase and more bonus compensation. I believe Todd does have a retirement account with the military which he denied in our trial and why he did not provide any pay stubs from that employer. I guess the military wouldn’t falsify documents like Allied Dental did!

 

Todd may also have shares in Allied Dental because his name comes up as a provider at their Cross Keys office yet he does not work there. I believe that Todd began hiding and deferring income and bonus compensation prior to our separation as he was searching for his new sugar momma and preparing to move out. After complaining to me, many times, that Allied Dental owed him tens of thousands of dollars, Todd has now gone on a spending spree.  I was also informed that the Cobra car that Todd hid at our separation and then claimed he sold, last year, due to financial distress is being hidden at his father’s house in North Port, Florida like he has done with other cars in the past.

On top of this, Todd is continuing to cause me defamation with false accusations of child abuse, extramarital affairs and laziness. I believe that it was his parents who reported both of us to DCP&P back in 2014. They claimed that I was mentally abusing my stepson because I made him write sentences for being extremely disrespectful and dishonest. I was also reported for making my stepson wash his hands before using the kitchen. Does this sound like mental abuse to you? They went on to say that I called my stepson bad names which was a complete fabrication as I was the one that was always after them to stop cursing and bad mouthing everyone. Todd was reported for neglect.

 

This is the same thing that his parents did to my stepson’s mother (a dentist) and stepfather (a motivational speaker) and just their way of hurting and controlling everyone. You’ll hear Todd confirm this in the Real Me recording when he states that his parents “are into dividing and conquering”. You'll also hear him speak of his parent's horrible treatment of him and his other women in Ugly Person.  I truly believe that their immoral teachings and interference has made it impossible for their children to ever have a normal or lasting relationship. Todd’s brother was divorced four times by the same two women before the age of 40. He also has anger issues and, according to Todd, has killed people. Todd bragged about this, often, to frighten me.

Another thing that Todd’s parents did was falsely reporting me for locking my stepson out of the house. I refused to give my stepson a key because he had no rules to live by and, intentionally, broke many things in my house. Like I said, my stepson had same demanding behavior as Todd where he would flip out whenever he didn’t get exactly what he wanted. Besides that, Todd was always advising him on how to seek revenge on anyone that “pissed him off” like peeing in their shoes, sticking their toothbrush in the toilet, altering their vehicles and even blowing up their houses. I was so stressed out then that my eye twitched, constantly, and my face was always red.

 

I made sure that I was home when my stepson was due to arrive but was a little late a few times. Even though I called/texted my stepson to inform him, DCP&P was called and I was reported for locking him out. One night I asked him to stay home and eat dinner with us before meeting his friends at the park. He flipped out, started yelling that he was bored then went to his bedroom. When he came back downstairs, he had his backpack on and started going out the door. I didn’t know what he was doing and didn’t want to get in trouble for letting him leave so I grabbed his arm to stop him. He yelled that his father said that he could go. I called his father to confirm and he told his son to go to his bedroom.

 

When Todd came home from work, he and his son started leaving so I asked where they were going as I walked behind them. When we got to the bottom of the garage steps, my stepson turned around and stuck his right middle finger in my face. I looked at Todd who just turned his head and got in his vehicle so I removed Josh’s middle finger from my face and put it behind his back. I inflicted no pressure or pain whatsoever, told him to never do that again and then let go. Todd’s account of this story changes every time he tells it. In his January 6, 2016 certification letter, his son’s right hand changed to his left one. Todd even claimed that I twisted his son’s shoulder out of socket. Hmmm, I wonder where the medical bills are for that? In our trial, the story changed again and Todd claimed that I twisted his son’s arm in the kitchen, drug him through my house into the garage and slammed him face first into his Jeep.

I begged DCP&P to make counseling mandatory for us but they refused and said they didn’t see a need. They refused to listen to my recordings or help in anyway and only empowered Todd and his son to abuse me some more. One of the last things that my stepson did was scratch my vehicle from bumper to bumper with the garbage can. I asked that he buff the scratches out but Todd refused to make him do so. Instead, he accused me of scratching my own vehicle and framing his son which was totally ridiculous. This is when I spoke to my neighbor cop regarding mandatory counseling and Todd moved out to “protect his son” from me.

 

Judge Light had the DCP&P final report which found “no concerns of abuse” but still felt it appropriate to refer to me as an "ultra-authoritarian" and bash me for making my stepson write sentences for lying (recommended by his biological mother) at our Child Custody / Pendente Lite hearing. Then, after he informed me, in our tria, l that the abuse allegations had nothing to do with our case and the DCP&P report wasn’t entered into evidence, Judge Light insulted me again at the Motion for Reconsideration by reciting another lie taken directly from the investigation. I think that the false accusations of child abuse and name calling have hurt me more, emotionally, than anything else in our divorce besides worrying about mine and our son’s safety.

After letting Todd tell extensive and debilitating lies about me abusing his older son in his certification letters and our trial, Judge Light stopped me from submitting into evidence the DCP&P final report which found “no concerns of abuse” (p. 84) proving Todd’s perjury and defamation.  Even if I had done all of the things that Todd claimed, it still would not make me an "ultra-authoritarian" and Judge Light had no right to insult me.  I have plenty of home videos and witnesses to prove that I am in NO WAY an authoritarian and have only sought to protect the children from Todd’s extremely inappropriate, abusive and illegal behavior. 

 

Judge Light stated that my defense of Todd’s claims was “far afield” and “nothing in this case deals with your alleged, the alleged abuse by you of Josh” (p. 151-152) but still allowed Matison to interject it  every chance he got (p. 155-157). This was all done in order to upset and sidetrack me from giving my testimony and submitting evidence.  Judge Light informed me that he didn’t look at the information that I sent him regarding Todd’s behavior and our finances because he only “looks at what’s been marked in as evidence” (p. 84). Even though Judge Light stated, repeatedly, that the child abuse allegations were “not part of this trial” and the DCP&P report was not “offered in as evidence” (p. 152), he thought it acceptable to recite at the Motion for Reconsideration another false allegation that he, obviously, obtained from the DCP&P report since it was not mentioned in trial and hurt me, emotionally, again. 

 

Judge Light not only allowed but assisted Todd/Charles Matison in upsetting and sidetracking me from my testimony and submitting evidence. Anyone with half of a brain can figure this out by reading the transcripts.  Although I was too frightened to elaborate on Todd’s behavior then, I am not stupid.  I can go on proving that Todd/Charles Matison lied about almost everything in this case and how Judge Light and Judge Ridgway ignored my testimony and evidence but don’t want to make this too long. I can also go on describing many extremely inappropriate, abusive and illegal things that Todd and his family have done but I think I’ve said enough.

 

Besides threatening me and defaming my name, Todd started conflicting out “all of the good attorneys” by having consults with them before we even separated which is proven in his voice message.  I’m sure that Charles Matison’s advised him to do so as they were all attorneys that were ethical and could have beaten him.  This brings me to my final complaint which pertains to my attorneys who I believe colluded with Charles Matison, along with Judge Light, to intentionally drag out our divorce case then help him win.  As I said, at the time of our trial, I was under extreme duress due to Todd’s erratic behavior and crazy ramblings. I truly thought him to be mentally unstable and fought to get him an evaluation and mandatory counseling.  This is also why I insisted on supervised visitation with our son, invested in a better security system for my home, took self-defense classes and purchased firearms. 

 

I believe, now, that Todd frightened me, intentionally, in order to control me.  This is called controlling or coercive behavior in an intimate or family relationship which is Domestic Violence. My first attorney, Charles Gabage, never informed me of any of this!  Back then, I was afraid to say much about Todd but I believed that playing my recordings of him would prove my very genuine concerns.  This is the ONLY thing that I asked Charles Gabage to do at our very first hearing under Judge Light but to my utmost surprise and detriment, he didn’t even enter the recordings into discovery! 

 

I truly believe that Charles Gabage's misrepresentation was intentional and if it wasn't, it was highly negligible!  He stated that my recording was "scary" and my allegations were of "great concern" but was too chicken and/or corrupt to "stir up the pot" and "get everybody riled up" to properly represent me.  How can Charles Gabage even advertise on his website that he is an aggressive and diligent representative that specializes in domestic violence and child custody?  Instead, I had to sit there and get bashed by Judge Light for making my stepson write sentences for lying and removing his middle finger from my face then he quickly awarded Todd, the true abuser, with joint custody of our very young and impressionable child. 

 

Immediately after the hearing and while we were still seated in the courtroom, Matison walked over, shook Charles Gabage’s hand and said “happy new year”.  This was very odd because it was February 10, 2016.  Initially, Charles Gabage acted very surprised and kind of laughed but then he became upset and muttered, “I can’t believe this guy!”.  I think that Charles Matison's very belated salutation was just his way of proving that he was in control.  Out in the corridor, I asked Charles Gabage why didn’t he enter the recordings into discovery and he answered, that “it doesn’t work that way” and “you’ll just have to wait until the trial”. Well, I know now that was a bunch of bologna! 

 

The next attorney that I am going to discuss is Kevin Murphy who works for Adinolfi, Molotsky, Burick & Falkenstein, P.A. , a firm that also claims to be aggressive, diligent and specialize in domestic violence and child custody.  I hired Kevin Murphy on January 18, 2017 to help me with my Motion for Reconsideration on February 16, 2017. I actually wanted Kimberly Packman but she admitted that she knew Charles Matison and said that Kevin Murphy would be cheaper so she stuck me with him.  I finally had proof of the marital vehicles that Todd hid then dissipated before our trial after finding pictures of them parked at his post-separation home on his older son’s Instagram page.  Oddly, Kevin Murphy refused to address the perjury and fraud at this hearing and would only address parenting issues.  As you can guess, he accomplished nothing and I got bashed again by Judge Light when he refused to change child custody and justified his decision by saying “after all, she locked her stepson out of the house”. 

 

It was extremely unethical and biased for Judge Light to hurt me with this lie that he, obviously, took from the DCP&P report after he informed me that he didn’t look at the information that I sent him regarding Todd’s behavior and our finances because he only “looks at what’s been marked into evidence” then stated that the abuse allegations were “not part of this trial” and the DCP&P report “was not entered in as evidence” so there was no need for me to defend myself against these false allegations.  Maybe Judge Light didn’t look at the DCP&P report and learned this lie through a private conversation with Charles Matison?  I also have a voice message from DCP&P investigator that stated, “Judge Light has a copy of the entire record that he got on, that he requested on 2/4/2016” … “the allegations were not substantiated against you” … and “the good news is that the judge has everything”.  This means that Judge Light had the DCP&P’s final report that found “no concerns of abuse” but still thought it acceptable to call me names and recite lies in order to make me look like a terrible person in front of everyone and justify siding with Todd/Matison, again and again.

 

After making me wait and stress out for many months, Kevin Murphy finally decided to do title searches on the 4-5 marital vehicles that Todd hid then dissipated before our trial.  Oddly again, Kevin Murphy insisted on doing one title search at a time, each taking 2 weeks, because he said that they cost $15 and he didn’t want to waste my money.  This made, absolutely, no sense to me since I already paid his firm thousands of dollars and spent close to another thousand on trial transcripts besides all of the money and time that I lost to Charles Gabage and the mediator that Todd insisted on using just prior to our trial.  That’s another story as I think that was done to convince me that we were going to settle out of court and distract me from preparing for trial.

 

Anyway, it took Kevin Murphy months to complete the title searches and when I finally thought that he was actually going to do his job and start representing me, he insisted on doing registration searches on these same vehicles.  Oh, and of course, only one registration search at a time!  Doesn’t this sound ridiculous?  Well, you know what’s even more ridiculous?  Kevin Murphy insisted on starting these registration searches with the only vehicle that Todd disclosed in our trial!  This is when I got really upset and wrote to Kevin Murphy asking him how was it in the best interest of my case to, intentionally, drag this research out?  He did not answer so I wrote again and also called.  Finally, Kevin Murphy wrote back and said that he understood my frustration and was forwarding my concerns to Packman.  I asked her the same question and never received an answer!

 

Was Kevin Murphy that stupid?  Or, that greedy?  Or, did he collude with Charles Matison too?  It’s really ridiculous because Kevin Murphy kept bragging about how good he was at doing research.  Maybe he meant good at dragging it out so he makes more money and causes his client even more financial and emotional distress!  This is all proven in emails.  Kevin Murphy wasted another 5-6 months and $11,000 of my valuable time and money and only produced a lame and inaccurate demand letter while his firm claims that they are dedicated in providing timely, cost-effective resolutions for their clients’ most serious family disputes.  What a lie and a rip-off!

I highly suspect that Charles Matison influenced all of the attorneys and judges involved in this case although there is one that I think was just a plain ole jerk.  When I went to Louis Shapiro after I realized that what Todd did to me was actually Domestic Violence, he sat there all smug and aloof as if what I was saying was completely made up.  He raddled on for 15-20 minutes about how great he was then informed me about Tevis claims and how, if I was actually abused, I should’ve filed one at the time of the divorce.  I told him that if he listened to just 30 seconds of one of my recordings that he would believe my story.  When I played the recording, Shapiro’s eyes grew wide and he kept making all kinds of strange faces then he became smug again and joked that Todd “sounds just like a Trump supporter!”  He went on saying that it was too late for me to do anything about the abuse but reiterated 3-4 more times that Todd “sounds just like a Trump supporter!”  

All of my attorneys (and the judges) were aware that I was abused but none of them helped me and, in fact, only made matters worse.  See Kevin Murphy letter regarding abuse.  Although I can mention and prove much more, much more has occurred that I did not mention because I cannot, presently, prove.  The shame of it all is that Todd actually has a good heart and wants to do what is right. Unfortunately, he can only uphold his good behavior for a short time and always reverts back to what he was taught throughout his life. Todd, constantly, boasts about himself to gain admiration and badmouths others to gain empathy. He wants to be loved and accepted more than anything but he has truly been negatively affected by abuse as a child, and still. By the way, Todd’s mother and her siblings were taken away from their parents due to abuse.

 

It is extremely sad to see such an intelligent and physically strong man, as Todd, try to hug his mother and see her push him away and look at him with disgust. Whenever she entered the room or if Todd just spoke to her on the phone, he would begin stuttering and rocking excessively. Todd could never do anything right in her eyes and was always contradicted and criticized. This is the same way that he treated me.  Now, Todd cannot make a decision to save his life without first seeking the advice of 25 other people. I always told him not to worry about what others think and just do what is right. Todd, still, calls me asking for advice but always ends up doing whatever his father says or his mother guilts him into doing. 

 

I truly believe in the commitment of marriage and didn’t want a divorce but Todd refused to get help and kept using me as a scapegoat. The only reason that I started dating someone after Todd had an affair, threw his wedding ring away, moved out of my house and posted himself on internet dating sites was because I was afraid of being alone due to his death threats. I also have a recording of Todd threatening me, my date and his family then begging to get back together and insinuating suicide due to his distress. Well, you have no idea how much distress that he and his family have caused me.  I also have written testimony from other women that were intimately involved with Todd confirming his abnormal and/or abusive behavior. 

 

His previous fiancé, Maryanne, is still frightened of him even after 10+ years of being apart. Although she refers to Todd’s mother as his abuser, it extends much further than that. You’ll also hear Todd admitting to being bullied by others in my recordings.  Additionally, he told me, many times, how he was sexually abused when a child by an adult male. I have evidence to prove almost everything that I have written and much, much more.  The majority of my recordings were actually done in order to convince Todd to go to counseling.  I did not intend on using them in a divorce.  Anyone that listens to them agrees that he needs psychological help or was, intentionally, trying to frighten me for control.  Either way, I have witnessed Todd flipping out over very trivial things, for many years, and I do not know if or when he is going to snap and do what he’s threatened, over and over. 

 

He also had my neighbors spying on me after he had an extra-marital affair, moved out out of my house, threw his wedding ring away and posted himself on internet dating sites.  This voice message is proof. I believe that Todd still has people spying on me and runs the license plates of every car parked in my driveway.  He also tells me that I don't have to pay him the $35,000 in equity from my premarital home which is due by December 2021 but he refuses to put it in writing.  These are just other ways of controlling me since our divorce besides having to share custody of our son.  I have to admit that Todd did try to settle our divorce out of court after I won the MESP decision by simply presenting my evidence and stating that I only wanted what was fair but his pontifical attorney deleted my reply to his proposal without even reading it as proven by this email.  I'm sure that he also advised Todd on which attorneys to conflict out after we separated so I was unable to obtain proper (or I should say, ethical) representation.  Listen here

 

Please help however you can.  Todd truly does have mental issues and I still feel very sorry for him due to the abuse and neglect that he suffered as a child, and beyond, but there is absolutely no excuse for what Judge Jeffrey Light, Judge Nancy Ridgway, Charles Matison esq, Charles Gabage esq, Kevin Murphy esq and Louis Shapiro Jr esq did and/or didn't do. They were all aware that Todd was emotionally and financially abusive as I proved in my story but instead of correctly addressing his cruel and scandalous behavior, fairly dividing our assets and doing what was in the best interest of a child, they maliciously and/or negligently hurt me and our son some more by misrepresenting me, dragging out our divorce case and making highly biased and injuriously unfair decisions or no decisions at all, thus, inflicting even more emotional and financial abuse.  What's even worse is that they are doing this to many others!  My work, now, is to enact laws, here in America, that will prevent abusers, like mine, and their enablers from hurting others and, in most cases, hindering them from ever enjoying a normal life again.

More evidence available upon request.

Sandra R.

PLEASE

Sign my petition to Stop Coercive Control,

Contact the ACJC and urge them to investigate Judge Light and Ridgway

Donate to help me continue fighting this legal battle.